I think God is now still ven kind to me!!

...I may have conquered the google- change!!!

YOu have no idea ( or maybe you do - having suffered the same trial)

Sarah

This is Neal, my boyfriend x

Love you all, sorry i'm being a bit rubbish at correspondance xx

Thanks Amanda

I'm glad i could talk to Amanda a couple nights ago, she surely helped me, and i hope i didnt talk to much about me... i'm slightly too self-absorbed sometimes... oops. But i have good friends they love me even with me being ridiculous-me sometimes. I cant work out that my space palarva so i'm gona stick with this journal of beautousness... enjoy! I'm gona visit my friend in Cornwall tomorrow, which'll be lovely, because both her and Cornwall (esp by the beach!) are lovely, AND i enjoy adventures on trains, so i am looking forward!! Also tomorrow it's Neal's birthday, he's 26 today, 27 tomorrow (yes i CAN count!), we're not dating anymore, i cant handle it, it's too abstract from anything i can understand. So i told him, much better this way, cos he isnt holding out for me (he told me he likes me a lot!). And i can think and relate to him in a way i feel comfortable, as a friend! I did have a random idea... as i do comprehend friendship with him, and i think i have a good comprehension of marriage (as best as i can without being wed!), but no comprehension of 'going-out' (even though i was for a long time...this is still strange, still dont know why i dont get it, but i dont, and infact thats okay, i'm not deranged or skrewed, i'm just Sarah, and dont understand EVERYTHING about THE WORLD yet, and thats okay!no guilty feelings necessary.)...so my natural conclusion, remember i am slightly quirkey (!) was to marry him right away. Yes that's right did you see it coming?!!!!! haha... quirky remember!! Talked it through with Fran today over some coffee sat right by the Sound (SOOOO BEAUTIFUL!), and now i have a better perspective. I am slightly ridiculous in some conclusions i come to! It's cos i have an abiding sense in me that ANYTHING is possible, so i will with joy do lots of things other people will automatically (sometimes quite rightly!) dismiss! I'm glad God has put people in my life who have a greater grasp of practical reality than me!!...it's a beautiful provision, thank you Father. ...So i'm not gona tell Neal about my random idea, not good to confuse him more, i've decided i need to honor him (he is a good man) enough that i wait a year - to be settled inside myself, having gotten over my relationship with CANADA. I need to honor him enough, that i choose HIM because i love him, not because it is a good idea that involves totally commitment forever so therfore would not hurt him bacause i'd never reject him. (do u see how it made sense to me?)BUT Fran made absolute sense when she said "so when u can only comprehend friendship, and marriage, but not a place inbetween, you choose marriage? how about choosing friendship?" Well... Am going to watch a artsy movie with Neal tonite but thats okay, as friends, and it was him who wanted it even after he said he couldnt see me so much anymore, he'll get over me soon, it's only ben a week anyhow!! 'Snow Cake' we'll watch...oooo filmed in a small Canadian town! Last nite i went to the theatre (oh la la) with Suzy and her mum, Grease, so great... sparkly lights and bright lovely costumes, loads of singing, a light-hearted wonderful night. Thanks Suzy's mum! LORD i dont want to be drinking in the afternoon anymore, change me Father, cause in me a desire and a will to honor you every hour of every day. I got the job in Holsworthy, 9hrs a week, doing youth work with Devon County Council (government ran, i may be the only Christian...) i'm excited! Got my 1st meeting with one my bosses Monday morning, ooooo, really excited! Need prayer for my mum and me, our relationship, our honesty, and forgiveness and healing and God's transformation of us and our relationship to reign. Bye bye from the English girl who's now in England, by the sea, which actually is beautiful. THANK YOU FATHER, you are good, and you are good to me. Thank you thank you thank you. Philippians 4:6

Thoughts that fill this head in this 30 mins...

I'm in the libary. Rachel's sat on the floor reading to Riley, he's asleep - her 6month old son. Libary computers dont work like i want them to, so i cant reply to job stuff right now... i want to be professional, maybe i should make more effort........................"if you're called to be a job seeeker, then seek jobs with all your heart..." (version of martin luther king)

spending lots of time with people. not organising job searching that well. courting an old friend unexpectedly, see where this goes... i want to talk and pray through with someone about a job i already had interview with. i want to talk through the relationship stuff with Jan really. i really want to talk to Jan anyway. and iona and roberto. thank you Father that i could talk to Brian and Betty that so good to hear them, &the balance that brought me. i'm glad for all these people you've blessed me with. you are so kind to me.

"YOU ARE COMPLETE THROUGH YOUR UNION WITH CHRIST. HE IS LORD OVER EVERY RULER AND AUTHORITY IN THE UNIVERSE...
LET HEAVEN FILL YOUR THOUGHTS. DO NOT THINK ONLY ABOUT THINGS DOWN HERE ON EARTH...
WHEN CHRIST, WHO IS YOUR REAL LIFE, IS REVEALED TO THE WHOLE WORLD, YOU WILL SHARE IN ALL HIS GLORY."
(Colossians 2:10; 3:2+4)

JOLENE!

i miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wana come visit you in your new apartment in WL.
And i wana see amanda in her apple barn.
Does Yo update anymore?!!
I wana meet those Lifeteamers!!
oh and be near Jenseta again...o and Kbear, and pedro - he's pickin potatos dont you know... and timtido, and mally, and those browns and duecks and snairs, and jimm's, and emily , oh and now u got me goin............i like canada people
...jo i miss you, and know i miss everyone ...but surprisingly thats good, i feel more relaxed cos of it now ...i might copy everything i just wrote and add it to my blog!
love you smiling beauty! x

Crazy

That's how it feels right now, that's what it is right now.

But then it is 1:48 in the morning and i'm looking at university email addresses for courses that have already started...

England is weird (and i said that in a Canadian accent i promise you!)

But what's terrific is i've sent those email requests to A LOT of different places so i'm doing good on the lay your bread upon the water and see what fish you catch ...is that the right analage? mmi

Sleep is my happy reward

-14days

www.cornwallcam.co.uk

A CALL TO YOUR HEARTS

Jimmy says he needs Laura to be in Abby to end his boredom.

This is an appeal to the people of the world to sponsor us many poor English girls to be moved to the glorious land of plenty, Canada, where we can run free, and live in spacious green mountain pastures.

...please send cheques and postal orders to S. Harris, Box 111111111, Earth. PT45XTD7545.

DEAR FATHER

6days

Watched Pride and Prejudice last night with Amanda (no.6)

"Let us accept truth, even when it surprises us and alters our views."

George Sand (courtesay of Celestial Seasonings Bengal Spice Herb Tea)

With that...

"Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony."
Mr Darcy (to Lizzie when declaring his love for her, and asking for her hand)

"I cannot believe that anyone can deserve you... but it apppears I am overruled. So, I heartily give my consent...
"I could not have parted with you, my Lizzie, to anyone less worthy."
Mr Bennett (to Lizzie once she'd explained the truth of Mr Darcy's character, and of her love of him)


Thank you my dear Papa

"So if you are suffering according to God's will, keep on doing what is right, and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you."

1 Peter 4:19

"Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator."