waayyy

.sometimes i'm far away, sometimes i'm right here, sometimes i don't know what way to go, sometimes i'm certain of where i've been and where i'm going. we're all on our way somewhere.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Soup of confession

So today's been up&down. A lot like yesterday. I'm strange, my mood changes so much in just on day! Yesterday i went from feeling just ok, maybe slightly lonesome, to being irritated& sad, mostly with myself, then to jolly with the completion of watching Daddy Daycare, then to confused and sad, bcos I could find the words to write an emotional email.

Today was our first day of silence in LifeTeams, for 4 hours we weren't to talk or engage in things to entertain and distract us, but to spend the time with a Bible & a journal in our hands, questioning & listening to God. I was stressed before we began, aggitated for no reason, so my journal began with confusing rants&questions that were like a whirlwind. God had been showing me i needed to confess to him stuff - like all these angry feelings I'd been holding onto. I held off, but then when I had to put some soup into a dish to put in the fridge, I had the idea to ladel the soup out and confess to Jesus all those things I'd been holding onto, one ladel, one sin, at a time. And from then my thoughts and emotions had clarity, and the jouranl seemed systematic, it's easy to read those entries, and they are insights & issues & bible verses that poped into my head! I know that was God talking to me, I glad he's so kind to me.

Now I'm at Jan's glad that God is with me through everything - every pain, every confusion, every stress, every need, every joy, every gift, everything.

"Rejoice in the Lord always" philippians 4:4

Adios matabosa !